The Path forward

That old saying, You never know where you're going until you know where you've been. I think about that a lot. Where have I been?  I've been all over the world. Met some of the best and some of the worse men and women. I've been with guys I call my Brothers, who wouldn't hesitate to save my life just like I would do for them. I've also met those who tried to hurt/kill me. You know what!!!  I'm still here, and I'm not going anywhere. Having travelled a road that had so much danger, I can't help but appreciate what I have now. It took me some time to realize it, or maybe I just needed the right person. Either way, I know what I have now and will never let her go. I never knew if I'd ever have that feeling of knowing I've met the one, but I feel it now. 

So here we go, life is moving forward and I know I'm going to be side by side with a Beautiful woman. Life is good

Coming Home

So I went to visit a Brother I haven't seen in 10 years. We served in Iraq together. It's been great catching up and spending some time together. As we talked about things, it really makes me realize my own struggles and how we have the same ones. 

One thing is that I find it hard to relate to people anymore. I guess I just see life differently. I'm so hyper-vigilant about everything. I'm overprotective too. I know what dangers are out there and want to be prepared to act when needed. It's extremely exhausting mentally, to have to think that way all the time. I wish I could let my guard down but I just can't. 

Having survived what we did, I can't help but look at life differently. I know there are a lot of my brothers that are worse off than me. I feel obligated to live my life as full as possible. I hope I can make those guys proud. 

There are so many other things we think and feel, and it can take a toll on a relationship. It takes a special woman to want to deal with that. I just hope open communication will help 

Inspiration

There are always people that touch your life. I've had the honor of meeting some very humble and interesting people. We had a neighbor growing up who lived thru the Great Depression. Getting to interview him for a school report was a hilight for me. The struggles he had to go thru were unlike anything we've faced. I can say I knew someone born in the 1800's. Another gentleman was a pilot for Nazi Germany. His plane was shot down on his second mission and he took a 30 cal round thru the leg. He told me about how he got out of Germany with his wife and made his way to America. 

Unfortunately, their lives have passed and I can no longer talk to them. That doesn't take away from the lessons they taught me. Everyone has an interesting story if you take the time to hear it. Sometimes you just need to listen and stop just waiting for your time to talk. 

More recently, I remembered some Marine influences that have me thinking. I spent Thanksgiving on base so others could go home. I was honored to have our battalion commander bring his family into the chow hall and have dinner with us. I also remember General Kelly who I served under in Fallujah. The man was a born leader and I was honored to fight for him. His words rang true on every mission. No matter what the agenda is, our job is to search and destroy the enemy and protect our own. I also had the honor of meeting General Conway, the Commandant of the Marine Corps 

He was personable and asked so many question about where I came from. It's men like these that we fight for and sacrifice because we know that we are never forgotten. 

I just hope our youth takes the time to engage in conversation and learn from those ahead of us. That's the only way our history will be carried on. By listening to those who have been there. 

Letting Go of a Crutch

If there is anything I've learned the past 2 years it's this.....  I have grown to use my career as a crutch to help me get thru tough times. Work is my comfort zone. Maybe because I'm good at what I do. I have a passion for it. It's very easy to just shut everything out and focus on what I do best. It doesn't hurt that I'm very driven and focused on being successful. It also shows my kids how much I will sacrifice to take care of them. I have atattoo  that says, " For those I love, I will Sacrifice". It's the damn truth. I will do anything to protect those I love. 

Not seeing the kids everyday is hard, but I hope they grow up to understand how much I do things for them. Now back

To where I started..... I've reached a major crossroad in my life. I've felt that crutch I've been leaning on is no longer needed. I've been healed for some time now, but just didn't want to let go of it. Everything has come together in my

Life. My career is still going great, the kids are fantastic, and my personal life is as great as it's ever been. It's funny how you meet someone that just puts it all

Together for you. Realizing how happy you can be is so freeing and satisfying. I'm just so excited to share my life and also share hers. This is going to be a great ride. I can't wait. 

C

Let's Continue On

I wrote my last post because I was on to something. I honestly had a feeling that what I've been searching for was right there. I found the woman I was supposed to find. Someone sweet, caring, and sassy enough to challenge me. 

I'm a very happy guy and can't wait to keep building our relationship. It's been a long journey thru some very trying and difficult times. There were times I thought I was destined to be unhappy. All that did was show me everything I don't want and lead me to someone who is exactly what I want. 

I'm very excited to see where out lives go on from here. I just know there will be many more posts about us and how much we are enjoying life. 

C

Random Thought

     I wish I knew all the lessons I am supposed to learn from people. I'm mainly talking about the dating world. In your 30's, late 30's to be exact, trying to date is hard. I guess I've become selective just because I know what I want, and don't want to settle. Let me tell you, it makes for some very short relationships.... You meet these women who are just wanting sex all the time, or can't seem to get themselves out of a bar to save their life. Before you stop my, I'm not an angel, but I just want more substance out of a relationship. If there is anything women should learn, is that men are hunters. We have an instinct, so if you make it so easy we don't have to hunt then we will lose interest.


     I've tried this internet dating thing, and it's ok I guess. It just makes me feel like a piece of meat. And for whatever reason, I get hit on by these obese women all the time. I'm not sure why, but they like this fella!! It's not so much that I'm against being overweight, cause I know I'm not perfect. It's everything else. As a guy, I want to be the bigger person in the relationship. I want to protect them, not have them fight my battles for me. Secondly, Its a mentality thing. I try and stay active and eat clean. You'll find more often than not, they are lazy and have no motivation to try and improve themselves.
    What's the point of all this, I'm not really sure. I just know that every time I meet someone new, I just learn one more thing I don't want in a spouse. I'm excited for the moment that you have when you meet someone special. After talking for a little while, and having your first date, you realize that they are the one you want to build something with. Now, will it work out, I have no clue. But if you both see something in each other, and enjoy your time together, things will happen like they are supposed too. I'm on that track now, and I can't wait to see what happens

Changes and Adapting

First and foremost, I'm a "routine" guy. I like my daily schedule and how I get thru the day. I will say that these routines will actually have you missing out on fun too. Let me explain....

The weekends come and go so fast, and having my kids every other weekend, I make my plans accordingly. If you truly want to spend time with someone or just enjoy your time a little more, you have to make an effort to get out during the week. I've tried several ways to get thru the week, like living for the weekend. When you do that, you wake up one day and realize it's almost October. When you look back, what do you have to show for it but memories of work and sleep. I've lived that way most of this year and I'm really not happy with the results. 

Once I really thought about it, I've been slowing things down and tried enjoying each day. Time as seemed to slow. The reason I bring this up is because just like a routine, being comfortable with your every day life can come back to haunt you. 

In my line of work, there is a lot of change over. People leave cause they can't handle the stress and pressure. We also have a lot of new projects so people get moved around. I'm on my third boss this year and I've also been promoted so things are changing a lot. Im so happy that I am able to adapt and thrive with changes. It makes each day thrilling and you are always getting to prove yourself. I think having a career that constantly challenges you is the only way to work. I have found my true calling a and can't wait for whatever changes are ahead. 

I hope whoever reads this can be inspired to break out of the ruts and routines. Make yourself uncomfortable and see where it leads you. You may like the results. 

C

Why I do what I do

These are my girls. Emily just turned 10 yesterday. It's crazy to think about how time flies. It seems like yesterday I was teaching her to ride a bike. Now, she's growing up and likes to listen to music and plays soccer. I am a proud dad for sure. She has turned into quite a girl. She does an amazing job taking care of her lil sister, Keaghan. 

Being a single dad is tough. Trying to do what's right and help moms the kids with only a few days at a time. I don't know if I'm doing it right, but I'm trying either way. I'm just happy I can provide for them and make sure they always know that their dad is here and always will be. As much as I hate seeing them grow up, I'm excited to watch them learn and become amazing young ladies

Why I Write

Every once in awhile, I get asked why I write blogs. I mean, I don't know who reads these things, or if I entertain anyone. I guess I have a busy mind and not enough people to share it with. I like to think a lot, well reflect really, about daily life and the ups and downs that go with it all. I Try and stay positive thru it all, but it gets tough sometimes. 

I never thought I'd be 37 and single. It wasn't in my life plan, but who can really map out their life. I sure as hell wouldn't be able to predict I'd be here. The funny part is that each experience, weather good or bad, has shaped me and turned me into the man I am. No one would blame me for being protective and shut off to others, but that's not me. I believe in being open. I can take being hurt and disappointed, it's just part of life. I can only hope that being genuine and honest with people will show that I'm a good man, and have the best of intentions. 

Why say all this? I really don't know. I guess maybe someone will find this and maybe give them insight into who I am. I have nothing to hide, nor do I care what people think. I'll be damned if I'm gonna live my life to please others. I'm gonna live my life to please me. I'm gonna take chances, put myself in exciting and challenging situations. Why dream about all these things when you can live them. This goes for everyone else. If there's something you wanna do. Why wait? Go do it and live your life to the fullest

C

A Hint of A Memory

It's funny how you see something, rather on TV or just for a drive and it brings back a memory. I got home from work today and sat down to relax. I see the Golden Gate Bridge on the TV and my mind begins to roll back thru my long list of memories. Being in San Francisco and seeing it in person, walking thru the streets, and seeing the box cars that are part of the city's famous landscape.

Why do I bring this up??? I like to reflect a lot. On what I have done and where I have been. I'm not blinded from the mistakes that I've made, nor glorifying the great things I have accomplished. All this life has shown me so far is that without turmoil, one can never truly appreciate triumph. Why did we make the decisions that we made. Looking back knowing how wrong they were, yet not able to see it when the time comes. Our internal make up , what makes us tick, is forged from our parents, and other outside influences.

See how one memory makes you start thinking about 100 different things. I can't help it. I try to tell people, that my mind runs 90 mph, and it goes all over the map. I feel that I am a smart and calculated person. I like to plan what I am going to say, just to avoid the off chance of saying the wrong thing. Why do this?? Because different people will take things different ways and what is funny to one, will be offended by others. Some people think it makes me sound non-genuine, but I disagree. I am myself, and live an open book kind of life. I will share my life and my stories to anyone who asks. I just know that this world is full of sensitive people, and you have to be careful about what you say.

I really don't have an ending for this post today, it was just some random thoughts that popped up. Maybe someone will read this and understand me a little better. All I know is that I am living my life the best way I know how, and that's all that matters

C

Big Changes!!!!

For starters, I just can't believe I quite writing. Seems like it's been forever and since I can see the date of my last post, It has been over 2 years. There is so much that has happened, but who wants to hear about all of that. I will, at the very least, explain what all these big changes were. For starters, I am now single again. I've been divorced for almost 2 years now. Crazy as it sounds, sometimes you just have to walk away to truly see that you are much better off.

With all the changes of getting out of the Marines and getting married, I had lost myself. I quit doing all the things that made me feel whole. Now that I am by myself, I can focus on the things that fill that void. Nothing can ever give me the time I have missed with the kids. I miss them every single day. Taking them to their mom's house after a weekend, can sure make me sad, but its all I can do.

My new approach to this blog will be focusing on the struggles and triumphs of being a single dad, and what things we can all learn from it. I hope to also bring some funny stories of day to day life as I try to navigate thru this crazy dating world. What is it like trying to date in your 30's?? We will find out. How do you handle dating with the kids, and when is it the right time for them to meet someone? These are all questions I have to figure out, and hope its the right one.

For those who may be worried about me..... Fear not!!  I am alive and well, loving and living. I am making my own little dent on this world, and I won't stop. So you better hitch on this ride, cause we are only going up from here.

More to come in the near future.  Also check out my other blog as it goes thru my trek back to fitness paradise and an overall healthier lifestyle

the RESURRECTEDone.BlogSpot.com

C